[ Between the space of one blink and the next, there's a knife in her hand. ]
Uhm. [ She stares down at it. Stares at the pumpkin. … gently snags a large chunk and very, very, very carefully begins to carve away at it. She's gonna make a pumpkitten. ]
Why – why would she do that? Why would anybody do that?! [ Because she didn't care, as Roxy just said. Still, it's abhorrent. ] You shouldn't have had to ...
You know, I have no idea. I can't even say she was really POWER HUNGRY at that point. She didn't even want new people, she just wanted to twist and experiment on 'em to see if she could make 'em the people she lost.
She's....I guess she's like a really bratty kid. She wants these specific toys and fuck anything that doesn't match, but no, no one else could have 'em, she'd break 'em before lettin' anyone else have 'em.
[ With her tongue between her teeth, Aoko begins to carve delicate, extremely fluffy-looking pumpkin ears. There we go. Focus. Touch. Control. ]
She sounds like a huge, rotten jerk. [ A waste of oxygen. Sometimes Aoko can't believe how riled up she used to get over Kaitou Kid, when people like that exist somewhere in the multiverse. ]
… And then you had to see my memory of— [ Well. That. ]
[She leans against the counter, crossing her arms.]
Yeah. But I've made my coping mechanism. Sure, I can't ever be the first to eat at a dinner party, but giving peeps food ain't the worst coping mechanism, ya know? [Now if only she could avoid feeling scared when people were hungry.]
Hell, I have a power where the easy sauce thing IS a food source, so I can like always do it.
[ She has other words she could use. Plenty of 'em. With a sharp huff through her nose, she delicately stabs in a pair of eye-holes for the pumpkitten. ]
How did you … find it? Figure it out. The coping mechanism, I mean. Does it really help?
....well, it was terrifying. The first time. And the thing was, I couldn't exactly leave. I was a kid. So, here I am, little kidlet, around a species that would eat me if they get desperate enough, and I couldn't escape.
I freaked for a while, but then I thought about it and I just...started to feel sorry for 'em.
Has to be horrible, to not have enough food. To hurt even though you're really not that violent. And I like 'em and I didn't want to be afraid of 'em...
So it seemed the natural conclusion. If I feed them, they're not desperate, I'm not in danger, and everyone wins. 'course, I couldn't feed the whole Neigbhorhood, but I could feed those near me and....and I was still helpin' people. People who wouldn't have been helped otherwise.
I help to cope. I take what control I can to cope. S'long as I can do something, then....then it's easier to be okay.
There's still trauma. I get nervous if there's peeps hungry around me and I can't feed 'em, I was always carrying food with me 'fore I got the power. But I can look Carapacians in the face. I can still care 'bout 'em, and help 'em.
And. If I met the desperate ones when I didn't have food back home, I could fight them off. I could control myself 'nuff that I could avoid doing lasting damage and escape. And I think not letting the fear rule me enough to hurt people, when I could to save myself, is a pretty good sign it helps.
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justichthys) wrote2015-03-18 11:06 pm
Re: Day 228, afternoon
Uhm. [ She stares down at it. Stares at the pumpkin. … gently snags a large chunk and very, very, very carefully begins to carve away at it. She's gonna make a pumpkitten. ]
Why – why would she do that? Why would anybody do that?! [ Because she didn't care, as Roxy just said. Still, it's abhorrent. ] You shouldn't have had to ...
Re: Day 228, afternoon
She's....I guess she's like a really bratty kid. She wants these specific toys and fuck anything that doesn't match, but no, no one else could have 'em, she'd break 'em before lettin' anyone else have 'em.
So like...super greedy and anal retentive.
Re: Day 228, afternoon
She sounds like a huge, rotten jerk. [ A waste of oxygen. Sometimes Aoko can't believe how riled up she used to get over Kaitou Kid, when people like that exist somewhere in the multiverse. ]
… And then you had to see my memory of— [ Well. That. ]
Re: Day 228, afternoon
...
[She leans against the counter, crossing her arms.]
Yeah. But I've made my coping mechanism. Sure, I can't ever be the first to eat at a dinner party, but giving peeps food ain't the worst coping mechanism, ya know? [Now if only she could avoid feeling scared when people were hungry.]
Hell, I have a power where the easy sauce thing IS a food source, so I can like always do it.
Re: Day 228, afternoon
How did you … find it? Figure it out. The coping mechanism, I mean. Does it really help?
Re: Day 228, afternoon
I freaked for a while, but then I thought about it and I just...started to feel sorry for 'em.
Has to be horrible, to not have enough food. To hurt even though you're really not that violent. And I like 'em and I didn't want to be afraid of 'em...
So it seemed the natural conclusion. If I feed them, they're not desperate, I'm not in danger, and everyone wins. 'course, I couldn't feed the whole Neigbhorhood, but I could feed those near me and....and I was still helpin' people. People who wouldn't have been helped otherwise.
I help to cope. I take what control I can to cope. S'long as I can do something, then....then it's easier to be okay.
There's still trauma. I get nervous if there's peeps hungry around me and I can't feed 'em, I was always carrying food with me 'fore I got the power. But I can look Carapacians in the face. I can still care 'bout 'em, and help 'em.
And. If I met the desperate ones when I didn't have food back home, I could fight them off. I could control myself 'nuff that I could avoid doing lasting damage and escape. And I think not letting the fear rule me enough to hurt people, when I could to save myself, is a pretty good sign it helps.